:: Captain's Log ::

:: Friday, October 17, 2003 ::

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes.. NO NO!!

Away with the pseudo journal and welcome back the return of the pretentious, pedantic outlet of cognitive/cultural insights!!! With the onset of school, and the fading of summertime transcendental paralysis, I have been revived of my flourishing super human intellect (HAHAH! just my pretension) which will serve as a tool to propagate the ongoing debate of the mind/brain dichotomy, and its relation to computation. SIKE!! That dead horse has been flogged enough last year. This current school year will basically further delve into the human psyche and the various altered states of consciousness whether self induced or otherwise. So far this quarter has been quite entertaining to say the least. Been kept quite busy with both my school work and work in general. School has revived me of my lethargic cognitive state... Perhaps it's just the classes I'm taking this quarter.. perhaps it's just the late onset of schizophrenia. Women are actually more likely to develop schizophrenia later on in life. Maybe I'm part of that lucky 2% of the population. I've always thought schizophrenics see reality for what it is, allowing all incoming information to be processed, and the rest of the world lives in a deluded filtered realm of selected truth. Would I rather see the world and life for what it really is, or would I rather live my life with loved ones I can relate to?

Anyway, to get on with the original topic I intended to harp about... Sorta borrows topics from last year, however still interesting none the less. When listening to music I often nod my head up and down, but sometimes I feel the unrelenting urge to shake my head side to side. Why does this seem so profound? Within our culture, and many others, the act of nodding one's head contains the embedded meaning of agreement, while shaking one's head side to side denotes dissent. What gives me the desire to suddenly change from such a strong agreement with the music to and inexplicable disagreement? One reason may be that certain gestures or words with negative connotation, could actually be used to mean its positive counterpart. In the 80s, the word "Bad" was used quite often to mean "good", and we all know "no" really means "yes" in certain sexual situations. I guess it all depends on what perceptual schema one chooses to use at any given time. Perhaps when listening to a particular segment of the music, my agreement becomes so strong that I have no choice to use its semantic counterpart to denote an even stronger state of agreement. Kinda like "oh man no way this is soo great." You know what else is great? Loving your major. Peace, I'm outty 5000.
:: Larah 11:09 PM [+] | ::
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Curse of the Babe

Who wants to see a Marlins Yankees series, really?

Saturation of Dopamine?

Short n Sweet: So a lack of DA causes parkinsons and too much DA has been found to be related to Schizophrenia. I think my substantia nigra is producing too much dopamine and projecting too much of it to nucleus accumbens... Maybe that's why I'm having these feelings? Which might also explain why I seem to enjoy studying as of late, and seem to retain information better, since dopamine is related to learning and reward... But anger? What could be the cause of that? Catecholamines? Overworked adrenal cortex? Isn't that moreso stressors? I dunno, I'm goin to bed.
:: Larah 9:51 PM [+] | ::
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Anger

I'm so angry right now. I want to punch someone in the fuckin mouth.


:: Larah 10:46 AM [+] | ::
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